Zoe Ball has lost 780,000 weekly listeners from her Radio 2 breakfast show, the latest industry figures show.
Dick Beretta of Blackwater said, ‘Since waterboarding was out of fashion with our enhanced interrogation guys, we decided to go ‘Old Skool’ and revert back to stress positions with annoying noises. Zoe’s annoying noises.
The presenter took over from Chris Evans in January, after he left the station to join Virgin Radio.
Dick continued, ‘We had approached Virgin about using the Chris Evans show, as my wife had mentioned it was great at keeping the bugs and spiders out of our house but they had already done a deal with Hezbollah.
In the second quarter of 2019, Ball’s figures fell from 9.05 to 8.27m – but her breakfast show is still the most popular, said industry expert Johnny Ball.
Those high number were a surprise to Beratta, ‘When we Beta tested the Zoe Ball show to prisoners in stress position, the average ‘I’ve had enough’ time was twelve minutes. Compare that to the twenty-seven using a Theresa May, Rees-Mogg mixed tape.