The Prime Minister has been given until September 30 to submit an alternative to the Irish border backstop in writing to Brussels.
In a meeting in Paris, between French president Emmanuel Macron and Finnish PM Antti Rinne, the ultimatum was laid down in a scene reminiscent of the Bond movie ‘Spectre’. Mr Rinne was brought in at the last minute, after he snapped the neck of a colleague who had insisted on a twenty-day extension… as he liked round numbers.
Mr Macron has long been concerned about the time Brexit is taking and has previously spoken against any more extensions.
Excuses that Boris had used included: ‘I sent you my plan two weeks ago… didn’t you get the fax? The dog ate it. My H.G. Wells calendar has two August’s, and the classic, It was picked up by a French courier company… they must have gone on strike.’
The deadline is likely to create uproar in Westminster with Parliament shut down.
It also falls in the middle of the Conservative Party Conference in Manchester, providing an additional headache for Mr Johnson.
Fortunately, Fred’s Cafe in Westminster has a large private room which is only used on a Saturday, for an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. The top Tory brass have been offered it as a Backstop since Parliament closed. Boris has also hired two lookalikes, as Mr Rinne has promised to ‘come over’ if the deadline is missed. He has threatened to personally clear up Boris’s Backstop with a funnel and some drain cleaner. Charming