Your local pub’s obese chain-smoking alcoholic football ned now somehow a f*****g rugby expert too

Sport
Your local pub’s obese chain-smoking alcoholic football ned now somehow a f*****g rugby expert too

The Rugby World Cup is now fully up and running with all home nations now having played.

Big Dave, the ‘character’ (bell-end) who enthuses about football, whose knowledge is predicated around playing in goal for the school team when he was 11, when they were short and he was big, stupid and over-opinionated and a bit of a character (bell-end) even then, is now enthusing about rugby.

Match referees are wearing live mics so viewers can get a better understanding of the rules…

One insider, who, for fear of reprisals from Dave, asked not to be named, said: “Now, instead of squealing football insults to the referee, like are you f****g blind? That’s a clear throw-in! Or just the one size fits all ‘red card referee’, Dave is shouting about the turnover, a knock-on, and the sin bin, like he’s an expert on every aspect of the game.”

Sport is huge business for pubs with many adapting and embracing the 2019 Rugby World Cup and catering for the modern sports-loving fan…

Research has shown that the same ‘type’ exists in most pubs up and down the land, especially ones who encourage hipster lager, long hairy beards and wee smelly dogs who stink of pish.

The 2019 Rugby World Cup, is based in Japan and has thankfully distracted many from focusing on Brexit.

For some though, it’s a blessed relief from Dave’s usual tirades. Our insider concluded: “Apart from his wonderous array of expletives during The Ashes, in the last year he’s been repeating how the optics don’t look great with Brexit. The pub’s local nickname was christened after Dave, we’re known affectionately as the Bell End…”

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