“Yes – we’re listening. We wish we weren’t though – you’re all so f*cking boring…” say Google

Science and Tech
Yes - we're listening. We wish we weren't though - you're all so f*cking boring... say Google

Google has acknowledged that its contractors are able to listen to recordings of what people say to the company’s AI system, Google Assistant.

When questioned on the ability to eavesdrop on users, a representative from one of Google’s top contractors was quick to downplay the significance of what they were listening to. “You begin to realise how fucking boring everyone is. I thought we’d we hearing arguments, drama or some intellectual conversation. Instead, all we hear is people asking their Google Assistant is what the weather is like, what song is playing or what else the bloke off the telly has been in.”

Google says that the contractors listen to recordings to better understand language patterns and accents.

“We recently had to give up trying to understand what people from Aberdeen were saying. Whatever they are saying, it’s definitely not English.”

Recordings may be used by the company in its user terms.

“If you idiots actually bothered to look into the terms and conditions before agreeing then maybe you’d actually understand what you’re signing up to.”

The contractor, who is about to set up an operation in China, said they were going to find a new source to get recordings of people talking. “It is well-known that the Chinese are the crème de la crème when it comes to state surveillance. We are going to get recording of people from them instead. Maybe their population will have something a bit more juicy to eavesdrop on.”

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