The Yellowhammer documents released late last week described riots on the streets, food price rises and reduced medical supplies as real risks of the UK leaving the EU without a deal.
They’ve also revealed that 10 plagues will be set upon the UK ‘in a reasonable worst case scenario’ for no-deal Brexit, including locusts, boils and much higher taxation for the impoverished.
Ministers were forced to publish details of their Yellowhammer contingency plan, after an MPs’ vote.
The documents only portray a reasonable worst case scenario. So, in effect, there probably won’t be 10 plagues besieged upon Britain, but it’s equally likely that it would be 20 or more plagues.
The documents outline a series of “reasonable worst case assumptions” for the impact of a no-deal Brexit on 31 October.
One of those scenarios does involve many, many hedge fund managers invading the UK, which is terrifying.
Labour’s chief comrade Jeremy Corbyn said the Prime Minister is prepared to punish those who can least afford it.
The government have advised that we haven’t had a plague of locusts here for a very long time – if ever – so we need to manage that threat.
As such, they are keen to remind everyone that locusts are really just big grasshoppers, so don’t worry about them. It’s not as if they’re going to eat all your bread.
They will, however, eat the raw ingredients that make your bread, so you won’t have any bread, so certainly no point worrying about it!
A government adviser added, “That’s the bright side. Thank God no-one asked to see the ‘Redhammer’ documents.”