Write for The News Dump

Please note – The News Dump is currently on hiatus, so we’re not taking submissions from new writers for the time being.


The News Dump is an experimental project from a collective of TV Producers, Comedians and Comedy Writers who believe the online comedy landscape can and should be better.

Our aim is to bridge the gap between the lazy satire that’s all over the internet and the top-class topical comedy you see on TV – while creating an ecosystem that allows writers and comedy creators to actually earn a living.

As well as the articles you can see all around you now, we also Produce an (occasional) TV (ok, web) Show – guest-presented by a rotating crop of well-known comedians, showcasing the very best News Dump content from the previous 7 days.


Writers will get 100% of any profit from the advertising on their articles.

We’ve only been going since January 2019, and we don’t yet have a huge following – but still, it’s an important principle that 100% of the profit we make from advertising gets paid straight out to our writers.

It’s divided up based on the pieces that get the most page views – with a bonus each month to the most successful article.


So how does it work?

Unlike other outlets, we don’t operate an open submission system.

All of our writers are people we know can deliver the good stuff – and consequently, absolutely everything they submit makes it onto the site – even if it needs a little finessing from us in order to help the jokes land.

We keep the team relatively small, so that there’s always enough easily-ridiculed news to go round.

And once you’re on that team, you can write as regularly (or irregularly) as you like. Whether it’s once a month, once a week, or every day – just pitch the story on our slack group, and once you get a thumbs up you can get to work.

Once you’ve sent it in, we’ll take a quick pass to see if we can tighten it up / tweak the jokes to help them land, put together a funny photoshopped thumbnail, and get it up online.


Earn extra money writing for Brands and TV Shows

We also run White Label Comedy (www.whitelabelcomedy.com) – a service that allows Brands and TV Companies to harness the power of our online writers room, in order to generate funny ideas, and gag-packed scripts.

It’s early days for White Label – but we’ve already had some great projects through the door, including short-form skits for a Luxury Jewellery brand, and Paid Development from the BBC’s ‘The One Show’ that we’re hopeful could lead to a regular gig devising and scripting funny insert films.

Most projects run in two phases – firstly, writers pitch Top-Line ideas. Once the client has chosen their favourite idea, writer’s then pitch gags, lines, ideas and material to meet the brief – which we then use to build out the first draft of the script.

Each brief details the total writers fee available, and how it will be split across the two phases. Each writer’s share is based on the amount of their material that gets used.

Each and every News Dump writer is welcome to contribute to any White Label project.


How do I get involved?

If you think you’ve got what it takes to write for The News Dump (and White Label Comedy), all you need to do is send us something funny that’s based on this week’s news.

It could be a few one-liners, it could be a whole piece in the News Dump style (more on that below), or just a witty observation about what BoJo’s hair’s doing today.


Send us something funny!


(if you’d rather just email us directly, that’s cool as well – the address is newwriters@thenewsdump.co.uk.)


Please note – The News Dump is currently on hiatus, so we’re not taking submissions from new writers for the time being.


Our ‘House Style’, and the perfect News Dump piece.

You might have noticed we do things a little differently on The News Dump. We’re not a parody of a news site – we are a news site. It’s just that half of each article is the story itself, and the other half has been played for laughs.

Anything in bold is true, anything not is almost certainly a joke.

The perfect News Dump piece:

  • Has a headline that represents the real story AND makes us laugh.
  • Contains as much fact as it does funny fiction – using a line of the real story as the setup for each gag / joke / witty observation.
  • Is around 300 words (although more is ok, and less is ok – we’re all about quality over quantity).
  • Offers up a few possibilities for strong, funny visuals – so that we can photoshop a thumbnail that helps it pack a punch.

Beyond that, we’re open to anything – every writer currently on the team has a very different style, and each bring something very different to the table – we love that.

The only pieces we wouldn’t ever run are out-and-out satirical pieces that don’t have any direct link back into an actual news story (or for the more evergreen pieces, some actual stats / facts).

But if you’ve written something that uses today’s news as a jumping off point, we can always find a way to make it work for The News Dump.


Please note – The News Dump is currently on hiatus, so we’re not taking submissions from new writers for the time being.