Write for The News Dump

The News Dump is an experimental project from ‘A Better Kind Of Funny’ – a collective of TV Producers, Comedians and Comedy Writers who believe the online comedy landscape can and should be better.

Our aim is to bridge the gap between the lazy satire that’s all over the internet and the top-class topical comedy you see on TV – while creating an ecosystem that allows writers and comedy creators to actually earn a living.

As well as the articles you can see all around you now, we’re also planning a weekly (online) TV Show – guest-presented by a rotating crop of well-known comedians – showcasing the very best News Dump content from the previous 7 days.


Writers will get 100% of any profit from the advertising on their articles.

There are some who think we’re crazy for offering that up. But our reasoning is pretty simple. We’re spending heavily to grow our following, and that outreach ad-spend is factored into the equation – so right now, it’s 100% of bugger all.

And as a very young site, that’s what you’d expect.

But with your help, we can grow The News Dump and its following to a point where our own ad revenue outstrips our ad spend – and then work to make it an amount worth talking about. And full disclosure – of course – at that point we’ll be ready to talk about profit-sharing.

But in the meantime, it’s a crucial principle for us that 100% of any profit an article can generate will go straight to the writer.

Our Ad spend is the only cost that we’re factoring into that profit equation – so you can be sure there’s no one sitting here in the middle of all this making money while everyone else works for free. Quite the opposite.

Our number one priority is to grow The News Dump to the point where everyone can get paid, and get paid well.

And when we do, we’ll be right at the back of the queue – because you guys are the most important piece of the puzzle.


So how does it work?

Unlike other outlets, we don’t operate an open submission system.

All of our writers are people we know can deliver the good stuff – and consequently, absolutely everything they submit makes it onto the site – even if it needs a little finessing from us in order to help the jokes land.

We keep the team relatively small, so that there’s always enough easily-ridiculed news to go round.

And once you’re on that team, you can write as regularly (or irregularly) as you like. Whether it’s once a month, once a week, or every day – just claim the story on our slack group (so you know no one else is working on a competing piece) – and then get to work.

Once you’ve sent it in, we’ll take a quick pass to see if we can tighten it up / tweak the jokes to help them land, put together a funny photoshopped thumbnail, and get it up online.


How do I get involved?

If you think you’ve got what it takes to write for The News Dump, all you need to do is send us something funny that’s based on this week’s news.

It could be a few one-liners, it could be a whole piece in the News Dump style (more on that below), or just a witty observation about what BoJo’s hair’s doing today.


Send us something funny!


(if you’d rather just email us directly, that’s cool as well – the address is newwriters@thenewsdump.co.uk.)


Our ‘House Style’, and the perfect News Dump piece.

You might have noticed we do things a little differently on The News Dump. We’re not a parody of a news site – we are a news site. It’s just that half of each article is the story itself, and the other half has been played for laughs.

Anything in bold is true, anything not is almost certainly a joke.

The perfect News Dump piece:

  • Has a headline that represents the real story AND makes us laugh.
  • Contains as much fact as it does funny fiction – using a line of the real story as the setup for each gag / joke / witty observation.
  • Is around 300 words (although more is ok, and less is ok – we’re all about quality over quantity).
  • Offers up a few possibilities for strong, funny visuals – so that we can photoshop a thumbnail that helps it pack a punch.

Beyond that, we’re open to anything – every writer currently on the team has a very different style, and each bring something very different to the table – we love that.

The only pieces we wouldn’t ever run are out-and-out satirical pieces that don’t have any direct link back into an actual news story (or for the more evergreen pieces, some actual stats / facts).

But if you’ve written something that uses today’s news as a jumping off point, we can always find a way to make it work for The News Dump.