Woman first to swim Channel four times non-stop
A woman has swum the channel a record four times in a row as she wrestled with her conscience over Brexit.
Firmly in the remain camp she set off on Sunday morning but on arriving at the coast of France she had second thoughts and headed back to the UK.
Once again, as she arrived at the English coast she found herself unable to make up her mind and headed back again.
She then repeated the process twice more.
Apparently the reason she decided to soul search this issue whilst floating across the world’s busiest shipping lane was that whenever she brought the subject up at home her family would resort to violence and chase her into the street with kitchen utensils.
Official observer Kevin Murphy said: “It is a triumph, she has tested the limits of endurance.
Everyone who witnessed it agreed that they had never seen anyone change their mind about Brexit so many times in a two day period.
Representatives from Guinness later confirmed that this was a world record for Brexit indecisiveness.
The previous record was held by one Boris Johnson who was forced to change his mind about Brexit three times in an hour on discovering to his dismay that the British public were actually stupid enough to vote for it.
Boris left the press conference with the President of Luxembourg and was later seen dancing around on the beach at Dover with a loud hailer goading the poor woman to come back.
Similar scenes occured in Calais where Michel Bernier offered her fine wines and cheeses to come back to Europe.
Eventually she decided to stay in the UK, however she was later seen slipping back into the water having changed her mind again.