The Duke of Cambridge and Duchess of Cambridge took the 8.45 flight from Norwich International Airport to Aberdeen Airport with their children this morning.
Elton John had offered the use of his private jet but Kate politely told him to ‘Fuck Off’. A fellow Flybe passenger said, ‘I couldn’t believe it! The way the whole family tucked into a nasty airline chemical-breakfast-bap that had an expiration date of 2050 while sitting in those no-legroom bastard seats. It made me proud to be British.
The Royal couple and their family can be spotted being escorted from the budget Flybe plane and getting into waiting vehicles, where they are expected to be whisked away to visit the Queen and Prince Philip at Balmoral.
That was the plan, until William told the Secret Service to make a detour to the nearest Harvester. Last week, Wills and Kate were seen sharing a bargain bucket at KFC – This was definitely a step up. Harvester Manager Michelle said, ‘Wills went straight to the bar and ordered a round of snake-bites. The kids seemed to enjoy them as they spent most of the time running around, annoying other customers. Kate took advantage of the 2 for 1 burger deal. I’m not sure what Wills and the kids had to eat.’
A Royal correspondent said, ‘A lot of people are claiming the royals are costing too much at the moment, and William is putting his money where his mouth is by going budget.’
Things got really crazy at the Harvester when Prince Andrew turned up. He quickly downed five pints of Guinness, stood up on a table and told the entire restaurant he was moving into a shoebox. Fergie was then seen minesweeping tables, some with customers still eating while Prince George threw onion rings at Andrew. Suddenly everyone turned silent as the Queen walked through the door. Her Majesty walked up to the bar and ordered a Brandy and Black with a Jack Daniels chaser. Lighting up a Lambert and Butler, the Queen then turned to Andrew and said, ‘now go and get your fucking shoebox…ponce.’