According to a Sunday Times report, Police only solve 5% of all burglaries and robberies
There’s huge variation between neighbourhoods.
Of the 355 burglaries last year in the Derbyshire Dales – none have been solved.
With an abundance of farmland, recovery of stolen goods can evidently be tricky – as it’s impossible to know where the swag’s been hidden.
In the meantime, Uttlesford in Essex has solved 26% of crimes – a figure they put down to their high visibility foot patrols.
Finally the TOWIE perma-tan is good for something, eh!
Anyway – this all begs one very important question:
Why aren’t British police solving burglaries any more?!
- They’re too busy stopping and searching every single black man they see.
- They’re pre-occupied with trying to download the footage from their body-worn cameras so they can use it to start a vlog.
- They’re just too polite. They just don’t want to cause a fuss. It’s the British way.
- There’s no one to “accidentally” beat up if the perpetrator’s already run away.
- It’s really hard to see who’s been robbing who from up there on their police horse.
- Criminals are getting harder and harder to identify. Like this guy below.
(No, not the guy with the swag bag – he’s on his way to a fancy dress party. It’s the guy on the right! He once stole a can of orange lucozade from the vending machine in the police station staffroom – and still hasn’t come clean. How he can continue to do his job without ‘fessing up, we’ll never understand).
Well, they might be getting worse at solving crimes – but at least they’re getting better at dancing.
It’s illegal for a member of the public to impersonate a police officer, so shouldn’t it be illegal for a police offer to impersonate a member of the public? Especially one who dances like that…
Why do you think the police have stopped solving crimes?
Whatever you think, let us know in the comments below.