“Whatever happened to #bekind?” Wonders anonymous, sweat free, totally non-sex offending Prince

The Royals
Grand Old Duke of York now wishing Jeffrey Epstein hadn't been one of his ten thousand men

As  Prince Andrew comes under heavy criticism for refusing to cooperate with the Jeffrey Epstein investigation, a unnamed source from within Buckingham Palace speaks out about their unfair treatment in the public eye ruined their life.

“I’ve had to deal with some very hurtful rumours. People have called me a nonce, a letch, a kiddie-fiddler, a pedo and sweaty.” The mystery royal continued “It’s just a symptom of how we don’t associate people in the public eye with having feelings.”

“Also, the sweat thing really grinds my gear.”

“Things have only gotten worse after it emerged that I’ve been completely uncooperative with an ongoing police investigation into a known sex ring organiser that was I very, very closely involved with. People have been calling me a nonce, a letch, a kiddie-fiddler, a pedo and sweaty.” the unidentified Prince continued “It’s heartbreaking how judgemental people can be.”

“Fortunately, my nephew seems to have had some kind of fallout with mumsy, which I hoped would cast intense media scrutiny onto him and his wife… in a ‘kind’ way of course. But for whatever reason, the public at large seem more interested in labelling me a letch, a kiddie-fiddler, a pedo and sweaty.” the anonymous Duke of York added “I just hope people haven’t forgotten the lessons we learned from Jade Goody.”

“Just because someone made the one mistake of associating with a known paddler of child prostitutes over the course of 2 decades doesn’t mean they’re fair game, it was a single 2 decade moment of weakness, people can change.”

The Pizza Express loving source finished issued a stark warning to the public at large “As a society, if we can’t find it in ourselves to forgive people that haven’t sincerely apologised or faced any kind of justice whatsoever, then what does that say about us?”

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