The BBC has admitted to ‘making a mistake’ when it edited footage of Boris Johnson to remove the sound of the audience laughing during the Question Time Special in which the main party leaders were questioned by the public.
“I’m afraid to say we’ve screwed up again,” whined the Director General of the BBC, Baron Hall of Birkenhead, during an unusual press conference he gave at an event celebrating the 26 series’ of Dr Who.
Popping up from inside a Dalek, the DG grumbled, “I blame myself. I asked the editor to cut out the laughter because it made Boris look like a waffling mendacious clown. Though now having watched the whole car crash back (Referring here to Boris Johnson’s slot), we’d have been better editing out blondie-bugger-lugs-Boris and keeping in the laughter.”
When pressed as to why he’d instructed the editor to try and make Boris Johnson look a tad less like the gibbering fart he is, Hall said, “We don’t think he’ll get elected. Who would vote for him? He’s such a pile of shite. So, our plan was to offer him the part as the next Doctor. He’s perfect. He’s scruffy, grubby, and can’t complete a sentence without repeating several of the words in a waffling stammer, and then bursting into Latin.”
The DG went on to outline their concept for the next Dr Who to be based on Boris Johnson:
The Doctor would be dressed as a clown, with floppy blonde hair, a stupid smirk, stubby fingers and enormous feet.
He wouldn’t be a ‘time lord.’ Instead he would be a ‘time liar.’ He would flit from future to past in episodes during which he would lie through his teeth and shag anything with a pulse to thwart evil creatures and further his career.
“Boris is perfect,” said Hall, “He wouldn’t even need to act.”