Boris Johnson is facing a police inquiry into allegations of electoral fraud following claims that the Tories offered senior Brexit Party figures, such as Nigel Farage, peerages in a bid to persuade them not to run in the general election.
However, 70’s Bond villain and president of the new USSR, Vladimir Putin, has allegedly been offered a peerage to continue his sterling work helping with Brexit.
Scotland Yard admitted it was looking into two separate allegations after Mr Farage claimed that nine people in his party had been offered places in the House of Lords.
Tory Brexit Minister, Barabus Valentine, said, “Regardless of what Nigel Farage says, no-one has done more to help Brexit than Vladimir Putin.
“His relentless propaganda machine has really tipped the scales in favour of our supporters voting against unelected bureaucrats, such as those in the House of Lords, and, as such, we’re offering him a place therein, whereupon we can change people’s hearts and minds using said machine so that they now love unelected bureaucrats such as those in the House of Lords, with no memory of how they felt just a couple of weeks beforehand.
“Imagine, Vlad coming to take his seat in there.
“Obviously, his seat would be right in the middle, and it would be a throne. And, not just any bargain basement, 2-for-1 throne, but a big fuck-off one like they have on that Game of Thrones.
“Which he believes is an accurate documentary, by the way.”
A spokesman for Mr Putin said, “Lord Vlad of Moscow utterly refutes this story.”