Updated 737 “has some new gadgets and stuff” and will “probably be fine” say Boeing

Business, Science and Tech
Updated 737 has some new gadgets and stuff and will probably be fine say Boeing

Just hours after Indonesian investigators blamed mechanical and design problems last year’s Lion Air Crash, Boeing said it expects its troubled 737 Max aircraft to return to the skies before the end of the year.

Kicking the wheel of the plane, Boeing boss Dennis Muilenburg said, ‘Yeah I reckon we’ll get it off the ground. I mean it’s got wings so it’s bound to fly innit? If not, we’ll just run it off a cliff and see what happens. And once we get it in the air I reckon it’ll probably get there. ’

In response to the investigation Boeing said it has developed software updates.

Mr Muilenburg described the updates as ‘new gadgets and stuff which make it, like you know better and that.’

The jet was grounded after two fatal crashes.

But Muilenburg said he’s ‘sure it’s nothing a bit of gaffer tape won’t fix.’

During the design and certification of the 737 Max, assumptions were made about pilot response to malfunctions which, even though consistent with current industry guidelines, turned out to be incorrect,” the report said.

And Mr Muilenberg said, ‘ We’ve adopted some new policies so pilots will be issued with their own tube of superglue to deal with any inflight issues, they’ll be expected to drink two cans of Red Bull before every flight and as an extra safety precaution only pilots who can spell MCAS will be allowed to fly the improved model.’

The grounding of the 737 Max hurt the planemaker’s financial results in the third quarter.

In a statement the company said they’re determined to get the planes flying again as soon as possible, but reassured passengers that the 737 ‘will only be used on budget airlines until we know it’s 100% safe’.

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