Thousands of 50 pence coins minted to commemorate Brexit on 31stOctober will be melted down after Prime Minister Johnson accepted a Brexit extension from the EU.
Penny Lane, spokeswoman for the government owned company, Royal Mint Ltd., was struggling to keep her temper when she broke the news to a hastily assembled press pack that these commemorative coins were to be destroyed.
“Quite frankly I’m sick to death of Brexit and those clowns in the Houses of Parliament,” she moaned, “It’s not the first time we’ve had to do this. On the instructions of those Old Etonian Tory tosspots that comprise the government, we’ve printed a shedload of commemorative coins, all of which, no sooner than they’ve cooled off a bit after striking, we’ve had to melt down. The lads on the shop floor are knackered and threatening a walk-out.”
Ms. Lane then went on to list the commemorative coins minted then melted. These included:
- £1 Coin dated 23 June 2016 with the legend: We Won! We Stay With Our Pals In The EU
- £1 Coin dated 24 June 2016 with the legend: Shit! We Lost. This Time Next Year This Coin Will Be Worth Only 10p
- 50p Coin dated 29 March 2019 with the legend: Peace, Prosperity and Friendship with All Nations
- 50p Coin Dated 31 October 2019 with the legend: Alright, let’s have another crack at it!
“As a result of all the frigging about from parliament, the management here have decided to take matters into their own hands,” barked Ms. Lane, ” To this end, we plan to mint two new coins as follows:”
- £1 Coin dated 1 November 2019 with the legend: Dead In A Ditch? My Arse, You Lying Bastard!
- A Brass Washer (no commercial value) dated 1 November 2019 with the legend: Official Member of Parliament Salary Coin – Do NOT Exchange For Goods Or Services
Ms. Lane concluded, “Paying our current MPs with sacks of worthless brass washers will help commemorate the added value to society this bunch of freeloading wankers has contributed over the last 3 years”