“UK Needs to Move to Facilitate a Brexit Deal” says Coveney. “Preferably to the Antarctic”

UK Politics
UK Needs to Move to Facilitate a Brexit Deal says Coveney. Preferably to the Antarctic

Ireland’s Deputy Prime Minister has said the UK ‘will need to move to facilitate an agreement on Brexit which,’ he added, ‘would be met by a very generous response.

Coveney went on to say, “The move we had in mind was for the lot of them (The British) to fuck off as far away from us here in the Republic as possible. The Antarctic would be ideal.”

When pressed by the cub reporter for the UK comic ‘The Beano’ as to why he is taking this position, Coveney snapped, “That lot (the British) are a bunch of arse-holes that have given us nothing but trouble for the past five hundred years.”

The Irish Deputy PM then spat out a long list of atrocities visited on the Irish by the British going back as far as the Rathlin Island massacre in 1575 right up to the Dublin and Monaghan bombings of 1974.

“Let’s face it,” said Coveney, “As neighbours they’ve been bunch of c*nts… and now they’re sticking it to us again with fucking Brexit!”

Regarding the Irish backstop which is such anathema to Johnson and his band of rabid Brexiteers, Coveney added, “We’ve always said that if they want to remove something, they’ve got to replace it with something else that does the same job, which is surely not an unreasonable request.”

He added, “In the absence of anything even remotely feasible from the British side, we are proposing that the EU funds the relocation of every British citizen from the lands they currently occupy and sending the lot of them somewhere where they can do less damage.  There is a sector down in the Antarctic already claimed by the British, the British Antarctic Territory (BAT). We propose they all fuck off down there and we’ll pay for the removals vans. Once we’ve seen the back of the lot of them, we can settle the Kurds in the UK. They seem like nice, civilised folks that would make much better neighbours.”

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