UK economy on the rebound after being dumped by Brexit

Business, UK Politics
UK economy on the rebound after being dumped by Brexit

The UK economy is on the rebound

after being dumped by Brexit and left to fend for itself.

The Office for National Statistics said the first quarter of 2019 has seen impressive figures.

The economy has been extremely active on Instagram in increasingly revealing outfits and is said to be pleased that its figure has been noticed.

The ONS said this was driven by manufacturers rushing to deliver goods before 29th March.

But while the rest of the country stocks up the economy expects to slim down as it goes on a low carb diet and cuts out potatoes, pasta and trade links.

Analysts have warned that stockpiling may mean the figures are artificially enhanced.

The economy said it was ‘shocked’ at the suggestion but quickly back tracked when silicone began to leak from one of its peaks and run down its Union Jack swimsuit.

Brexiteers have called fears over future trade ‘project fear’

With many prepared to pimp out the UK economy to pretty much anybody, even if their bright orange hands are a bit ‘grabby’ and they’re yet to work out the distinction between negotiations and bullying.

One of the biggest growth areas was pharmaceuticals which saw an expansion of 9.4% between January and March.

A figure that was only surpassed by the Irish passport office.

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