Large parts of Twitter went down on Thursday to consternation in the UK and America.
The sites troll community have used the outage as an opportunity to swot up on their spelling and grammar.
Problems were reported in the morning by users trying to use apps on various platforms.
The downtime meant that not only did both celebrities and normal people get a rest from the nagging voices in their heads, they also weren’t subjected to the notoriously difficult to understand, seemingly randomly-lettered, mispunctuated abuse that often took 5-10 minutes to figure out before they could even be scared or offended.
Twitter acknowledged the issues on its status page soon after initial outages were reported.
Full-time troll, @Ar5e_ph4ce, said “I’ve just not had chance previously. Trolling is pretty non-stop these days. People are posting so much it’s difficult to get all the hate out, let alone keep my skills up to date.
“Obviously, I should’ve – sorry, I mean ‘should of’ because I am a bellend – learnt all these skills in school but, because everything that ever happened to me can be blamed on someone else, my teachers let me down. Every single one of them.
“Anyway, what with my primary antisocial networking tool down, I used the opportunity to get some books out – the Oxford Book of Grammar and, you know, this amazing thing called a dictionary – who knew that such a thing existed! – and they really opened my eyes.”
The social media site was up and running again, approximately one hour later.
@Ar5e_ph4ce continued “Now I can get back to the h8ing, but instead I can now spell ‘hating’ properly. The bile will be much the same, but there’ll be commas, full stops and even semi-colons now.
“I genuinely thought they were invented so we could have winky smileys.
“Anyway, it’s all back up now, so forgive me but you lot at the mainstream media can all fuck off.
“Oh yeah. It has a ‘c’ as well as a ‘k’, you know?
“Oh, you did.”