Democrats and Republicans have reached an agreement in principle over border security to fund the US government and avert another partial shutdown, but it contains only a fraction of the money President Trump wants for his promised border. Trump has insisted he will still build the wall.
We caught up with his former nanny who told us she ‘knew this would happen’ after Donald was ‘stopped from playing with Lego’ as a child.
‘He was fine with Duplo,’ she told reporters, ‘but then that’s made for tiny hands. And he just couldn’t manage anything more complex.’
Trump said today that ‘unattractive’ walls have given barriers a bad rap.
A White House insider revealed Trump has spent $1m USD of his own money buying Lego sets which some poorly paid Texans have made into a brightly coloured wall with guns and turrets, during his time as president. ‘It’s a big wall, huge.’ He said. ‘And President Trump has even put a model of himself on top of it.’
The brightly coloured, blockheaded figure was elected in 2016.
‘I never kid about construction. I love construction.’ Trump told reporters.
He then broke down in tears and sobbed his heart out. Yes, you read that right – he does have a heart.
After confessing that his view on construction is clouded by being denied Lego in his early years, he went on to complain that his servants didn’t once serve fajitas, and he was never allowed to stroke the family’s cute little pussy.
The border wall was one of Trump’s key campaign pledges but since taking office, although some of the already existing barriers have been replaced, no construction on any extension to the wall has yet been started.
‘I can see where this is headed.’ Said his former nanny. ‘You mark my words. If they don’t give him his $5.7bn he’ll take his steel and go to his room. And he won’t come out until he’s promised a double scoop of ice-cream with sprinkles and maple syrup.’