Trump’s Russian Cheat Sheet: “Da ser” (yes sir) “Khak khotite” (as you wish) and “u menya mozhet byt’ plenka” (can I have pee pee tape?)

Features, Politics

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin will be alone when they meet in Helsinki next month.

Presumably that’s to make it as easy as possible for both men to lie to their countries about exactly what was said.

Yes – that means no translators.

Fortunately the dictators’ limited English will not be a problem… as Putin speaks it perfectly.

Advisors are understood to have given Trump a cheat sheet to help him in negotiations with Putin. Phrases include “Da ser” (yes sir) “Khak khotite” (as you wish) and “u menya mozhet byt’ plenka” (can I have pee pee tape?)

Meanwhile, Trump’s last ‘big success’ of a summit might not have been anywhere near as bigly of a success as he’s been claiming – as satellite imagery suggests Kim Jong-Un is expanding, not reducing, his nuclear arsenal.

When he promised not to?! It’s like pinky swears mean nothing these days.

He double promised Trump too – crossed his heart and hoped to die.

It’s no exaggeration to say that Trump won’t be his friend any more after this.

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Rob Cromwell

Written By: Rob Cromwell

Rob is a comedy and entertainment writer who has written scripts and gags for some of the biggest names in TV, including Stephen Fry, Jimmy Carr, Graham Norton, Dara O’Briain and even Mr. T. He’s written on panel shows including Mock The Week, Have I Got News For You, Celebrity Juice and Would I Lie To You.
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