Nationwide raids across the US to arrest thousands of undocumented migrant aliens and their families are now underway.
The operation, which will be conducted by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), will predominantly focus on Vulcan immigrants who crossed the US ionosphere border in recent years but may also include other inter-planetary immigrants that happen to be on the scene.
A spokesman for ICE gave details of the planned operations.
“ICE are targeting very stern men, women and vulnerable children with unfashionable haircuts and eyebrows which naturally reach a 45 degree angle.
“They maintain a constant frown and often wear beanies, even during the summer months, to avoid detection.
“We suspect they set out from the Oort Cloud and then drift into the asteroid belt; many of them burn up during entry and never reach American soil.
Most immigrant workers toil in the maintenance field, which includes maids, caretakers and landscapers.
“We believe they are operating in the underground home-tutoring industry; they come here to influence Republican kids and their families with controversial ideas such as racial equality, social responsibility and fair mindedness: it’s extremely subversive, and ultimately, destructive to US democracy.”
In addition to the trauma, violence or abuse experienced prior to migration or during detention, many immigrants who are deported return to extremely dangerous and often turbulent environments.
The ICE spokesman explained the logistical problems they face.
“The real problem is deporting them to their home world. They will be held in detention camps until NASA comes up with a workable, cost-effective solution. We cannot guarantee that families will not be separated during the process.”
Democratic lawmakers and immigration activists have demanded that the raids be halted, calling them a cruel attack on a minority community whose only crime was to be peaceful, hardworking and utterly logical.