US President Donald Trump has announced that he will hold a second nuclear summit with North Korea’s leader this month.
Given their shared interest in creating a nuclear holocaust it was inevitable that the two leaders would have a second date.
“He has this big Rocket Man image but I think I can change him,” said Trump. “He’s not like you think he is. In person he’s just so sweet and funny.
“Sure, we may end up destroying the entire planet in some kind of atomic suicide pact but isn’t that what that English guy Shakesberg wrote about? Romero and Julian? It’s beautiful.”
Sources close to Pyongyang claim that Mr Kim wants to achieve something his father and grandfather never did – a peace treaty.
However, others claim that many people in North Korea secretly consider their leader to be a peace-mongering maniac and say the risk of an assassination attempt is high.
The President said he would meet Kim Jong-un in Vietnam from 27-28 February.
“I’ve always wanted to go to Vietnam,” said Trump. “I just wish I’d been allowed to fight in the war there – we’d have won then. No question.
“Damn this nasty bone in my foot that kept me safe and alive while others died for their country. If I’d been there I could have saved them. I’d have saved them all.”
However, Vietnamese authorities aren’t happy about Trump’s visit given their previous terrible experiences with the highly toxic Agent Orange.
“I thought the United Nations passed environmental legislation to prevent the use of this sort of poisonous material?” said a statement from Hanoi.