President Trump has today said that he would have undoubtedly matched the heroism and bravery of the D-Day soldiers, had he fought in the Vietnam War instead of making up medical conditions that then strangely disappeared.
Speaking just days after the 75thanniversary commemorations, Trump told announced that he would have been the ‘best and bravest boy there’.
“Whilst we have come together here to give thanks for the heroism and sacrifice made by the brave soldiers from many countries, 75 years ago, I just want to make it absolutely clear that I would have been braver and more heroic.”
When the Vietnam call-up ‘lotteries’ were issued in 1969, Trump unfortunately had spurs, protrusions caused by calcium build ups on his heel bones that made it painful to walk.
“But even so, I was brave enough to fight on,” he continued, “playing squash, tennis and football – even managing to take up golf. But, somehow when I was examined for the army, I cried and said that I couldn’t walk properly. Then, once the war was over, they magically went away. No surgery, just magic. Because I’m magic.”
However, some commentators have queried this, in particular pointing out that his doctor noted, just prior to him being made President, that he would be the ‘healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency’.
However, Mr Trump has laughed off accusations that this might indicate that he turned his back on his country in its hour of need.
“I wasn’t fit then, but the magic keeps working. Now, I could go and be the bravest, like I would have been then. But I’m the President, so I can’t. Even so, maybe there should be a statue of me somewhere on the beach, doing a gun thing or something?”