President Trump has missed a vital climate change meeting of world leaders in the Biarritz G7 Conference. His absence was also noted at a crisis meeting regarding the fires ravaging the Amazon rainforests.
Trump fielded questions about his absence from (white) journalists and responded with a rambling and confused plot synopsis “It’s just a really great film with bigly men in it.”
“There’s no women.” He added, nodding in approval.
When he asked again why he hadn’t attended the climate meeting, Trump continued with further rambling non-sequiturs “Ok, maybe there’s one woman, she doesn’t kill anything and isn’t as bigly as the men. Sad.”
Again, journalists pressed Trump on the fires currently raging in the amazon rain-forest “The Predator has dreadlocks, I think he’s foreign. He’s a loser.”
“It’s set in the amazon I think… no fires there, the amazon seems to be doing just fine, let me tell you.”
In a series of guarded remarks following the press interviews Trump is understood to have muttered “Amazon… I hate Jeff Bezos… I’m bored, France is boring… where is Melania? Is Predator 2 on? How many killings in Predator 2? Should I just watch Predator 1 again? Have I got time to watch Predator and then Predator 2?” before several of aides scrambled to disconnect his still active microphone.