American President Donald Trump flew straight into a storm controversy after arriving in the UK on Monday night.
At Stansted Airport Mr Trump announced to the awaiting press pack that before heading back to the USA he wanted to buy a lasting memento of this trip to Britain. His target was the National Health Service.
“It’s not so much for me, more for all my very rich business pals who run the big pharma industry in the States,” explained Mr Trump.
“They’re going to be so pleased with me after I’ve struck this excellently lucrative deal and I’m running for re-election next year which is hugely expensive – go figure.
“I know your Prime Minister has said the NHS won’t be sold to us Americans, but he obviously is yet to receive the orders I mailed him a couple of weeks ago. I’m given to understand your postal service is dreadful, so don’t worry I’m not interested in buying that as well.”
Mr Trump has pledged that he has no intention of getting involved in the UK’s General Election during his three-day stay here.
He elaborated: “I’ll largely keep out of it until the results are in. If the blonde dude wins, fine that’s exactly what I want because he does what I tell him. If the Labour guy wins I’ll just sign a Presidential Executive Order to invade and conquer Great Britain.
“We can’t have the Corbyn in charge, he’s a communist. My bosses back in Moscow would hate that.”
In October the American president announced he wanted to see Boris Johnson and Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage working together as a team.
On Monday night Mr Trump revisited the theme when he said: “I’m going to put that one to the test while I’m over here. I’ll have Boris as my butler and Nigel can be my valet.”