Trump declares Hurricane Dorian as fake news after confusing it with Cuba on a map

World News
Trump's Top 10 Ideas for Keeping Hurricanes out of America

President Trump was photographed with a map in the Oval Office which showed Hurricane Dorian’s expected path of destruction.

Trump himself was unable to hold the map by himself due to his little baby hands and was assisted by government officials. These particular officials are used solely to help the president hold medium-large objects and costs the American taxpayer over $3 million each year.

The White House briefing was the government’s efforts to observe the hurricane and deal with the aftermath as it approaches the East Coast.

Shortly after Mr Trump was shown the map he smugly noted that the hurricane image was actually the island country of Cuba. Although similar in shape to the hurricane, Cuba is in fact 300-400 miles south-west of the storm – which were almost the exact words of one of the President’s advisors. But this advice was drowned out by shouts of, “Fake news”, at least three times. The advisor had a tired look in his eyes suggesting his advice is often overlooked. Trump went on to say, “I know what wind is, and Cuba will not trick me into thinking it is some sort of thunderstorm.”

A White House insider later told us that the POTUS is particularly sensitive toward wind related topics because it ruins his hair.

The map also showed the trajectory of Dorian hitting the State of Alabama which many say is false.

Another presidential advisor pointed out that the image on the map (with Trump now adamant it was Cuba) was heading towards Alabama. This caused the President to proclaim that the US will respond with full force if Cuba does intend to take Alabama.

After fairly recently restoring diplomatic relations with the Caribbean nation, one of Trump’s official medium-large object holders weighed in to try and calm him down. While bearing the full brunt of holding the map he recommended not bringing up another Bay of Pigs situation. He managed to have a remarkable affect on the President’s mindset, Mr Trump at that point was bumbling on about extending the wall from the Mexican border all the way to Alabama and beyond. It wasn’t until he was about half way up the Eastern seaboard that he had a rethink. Trump, perhaps unaware of the Bay of Pigs Invasion noted that a bay of pigs was in fact a great idea for the American tourist industry especially if places like Tampa Bay are damaged by Dorian.

Shortly after the meeting a Trump Organization spokesperson made an announcement that several micro pigs will be introduced to the private beaches of all the Florida Trump resorts.

  •   
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.