Trump criticises UK Ambassador for saying the world is “not flat”

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US President Donald Trump has criticised the UK ambassador (Sir Kim Durroch) who said in leaked emails that his administration was “inept”.

“He even believes the world is not flat. Can you believe that? Round. Round like a golf ball! Now Really?”, added the President in that closed eye, mocking shirk that he has, “”The UK Ambassador is a very bad man. Very bad. Baddest ever. Not to be trusted.”

Emails from Sir Kim Darroch said Mr Trump’s White House was “uniquely dysfunctional” and “divided”.

But also, controversially, claimed that the Earth goes round the Sun. The Sun is a rather ordinary star on the edge of the Western Spiral Arm of the Milky Way and that the Universe is 13.6 Billion Years Old.

Modern science points towards that all life on the planet is evolved from the ‘common ancestor’ and that radioactive decay estimates the Earth at approximately 4 Billion years old.

“Everyone knows the Earth is 6000 years old, was created in six days and is supported on the back of a giant Tortoise”, responded Donald Trump, “Biggest Tortoise ever. I understand it’s a North American Gopher Tortoise.  Make America Great Again! Make American Reptiles Great Again!”

Sir Kim has also warned that Trump could have been indebted to ‘dodgy Russians’

“Sir Kim, will be getting a very stiff letter, very stiff, indeed, the stiffest you can imagine, from my solicitors Petrov, Sokolov & Vasiliev”, the leader of the Western World, estimated to be worth $3.1 Billion, intimated

In the past Donald Trump has said that Nigel Farage should serve as Ambassador to the United States

“What we need is a man like your Mr Farage as Ambassador. A loyal politician, with a real grasp of the world stage. He gets ‘The Special Relationship’. He also gets Chlorinated Chicken, hormone enhanced beef, great American cars and the funding of the US Health Care System”,  The President eulogised, “I’ll be writing to your Prime Minister Boris Johnson on July 23!  Join the dots folks! ”

Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage said if Boris Johnson becomes prime minister and the UK leaves the EU by 31 October, “people like” Sir Kim would  “not be around”.

“How on Earth can we trust a man, like Sir Kim,  who has been working in either the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, or EU Command, for over forty years?”, stated the leader of the Brexit Party, who has failed to become an MP on five occasions,   “That and his four year term as the British Permanent Representative to the EU, makes him a complete charlatan, whose opinion of foreign government should be instantly rejected”, said everyone’s favourite Brexit Party Leader, who incidentally, now even refuses to look out of his window of his Luxury Penthouse apartment in Brussels.


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