Kim Jong Un has arrived in Vietnam ahead of his second summit with Donald Trump. North Korea’s nuclear weapons are expected to dominate talks.
In a show of good faith, the two leaders purchased 99 red balloons with the money they’ve got. Set them free at the break of dawn, til one by one they were gone.
The pair are due to sit down together for dinner on Wednesday, before more formal discussions get under way on Thursday.
But outside of their romantic meal, European and Chinese defence agencies have been put on high alert, issuing the warning “something’s out there”. Britain’s Defence Minister was overheard declaring “there’s something here from somewhere else”, although in the current climate of everything being about Brexit it is likely he was referring to a lack of sovereignty; the real issue.
Despite Kim’s Singapore pledge to work towards the denuclearisation of the Korean peninsula, there has been little real movement.
In response to the global panic, North Korean did ready all 99 of it’s heavily armed and well-trained soldiers, as well as several hundred more struggling actors it uses to make up the numbers.
President Trump however appears upbeat about the prospects for the Hanoi talks, telling reporters he expected “a very tremendous summit”.
Meanwhile, Indian officials announced “What? Huh? Yeah… Red Balloons that’s why…” after carrying out airstrikes on Pakistani territory, an event that received considerably less coverage than two tyrannical manbabies pinkie swearing not to nuclear holocaust (at least not till the cameras are turned off).
In a tweet on Monday Trump stressed the benefits of denuclearisation. “With complete Denuclearisation, North Korea will rapidly become an Economic Powerhouse,” he said.
As 99 red balloons go by.