House speaker Nancy Pelosi has accused President Donald Trump of manufacturing a crisis in an attempt to force funding for the border wall with Mexico.
The President replied that he had always promised the American people an increase in American manufacturing.
“These are great, great days for American crisis manufacturing” said the Trumpster. “Of course, I am at the heart of this rise in crisis manufacturing and am very proud to have made true on my promise to have American crisis…es… es… es..? … 100% made by American people. i.e. me. Just me. No-one else.”
He continued, “This is also great, great news for crisis shareholders, such as all my business mates, none of whom knew anything about politics before I thrust them into positions such as Secretary of State and the other ones whose titles I don’t really remember. Is ‘Ivanka’ one?”
Democratic leaders accused him of holding the American people hostage.
The longer he holds out, the more likely they will begin to suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. Though, of course, he won’t like that. As he believes Sweden to be a no-go area.
In a live TV address, Mr Trump insisted on funding for his long-promised border wall with Mexico.
The Democrats are willing to compromise on the border and, given Mr Trump’s IQ, he is expected to agree to their offer: a border garden.
The Republican president wants $5.7bn to build a steel barrier, which would deliver on his signature campaign pledge.
But the Democrats – who recently took control of the House of Representatives – are vehemently opposed to giving him the necessary funds.
There is no way at all we’re suggesting it’s like a child demanding the most expensive toy in the shop, with the sensible parents refusing to bow in to them, and them having a tantrum, kicking and punching the floor.
We’re not suggesting that at all, but that is exactly what it is.
It’s becoming abundantly clear that the majority of the world now associate Mr Trump with the word border.
As in, ‘borderline sociopath’.