Film producers have announced plans to produce three new Carry On comedies.
And rather uniquely, the project will involve top talent from the psychic community, to channel the, mostly dead cast of the yesteryear comedy film series.
Thirty one films were produced by Peter Rogers and director Gerald Thomas, between 1958’s Carry On Sergeant and Carry On Columbus, released in 1992.
“The biggest problem in resurrecting the format, has been that we have been unable to resurrect most of the cast”, Brian Baker, chairman of Carry On Films Ltd stated, “Thankfully, we have a top class team of mediums, soothsayers and clairvoyants, just champing at the bit to be involved with the project. We are confident they will be able to contact the spirit world and channel the team for one last hurrah!”
Original producer Peter Rogers, who died in 2009, is behind the project.
“Peter is just cock-a-hoop that the series is to be relaunched”, said Colin Honest, a clairvoyant in the Pinewood Studios locale, “He wants to tell you all that he is looking over you and that he is very happy in the spirit world. He also wants to tell you that there is something in the attic of interest and beware of a man in a green hat”
Kenneth Williams died in 1990
“Kenneth and I have been in regular contact since his passing”, Mr Honest went on to confirm whilst charging £20 for a thirty minute session, “He says he is more than willing for me to channel him for the project, as long as he doesn’t have to share a dressing with Charles Hawtrey’s medium. Mr Williams is also very happy in the after world and wants you to avoid a car journey in October”
Charles Hawtrey died in 1988
“Mr Hawtrey, is also very keen to be involved”, stated Charles Hawtrey’s medium, Philomena Contactcardsaccepted, “Providing he gets to share a dressing room with a dozen clairvoyants all channelling deceased, sex-starved sailors. Mr Hawtrey is very happy in the next life, but wants to tell you that a man with a dog poses danger”
Sid James died in 1976
“Mr James to you, will only be involved if his medium is allowed to be sponsored by Johnnie Walker’s Whisky”, responded Scandinavian mystic Tors Fourtypoundaticket, “and he also insists that Bernard Breslaw’s psychic pays up the twenty quid he owes him from a bet on a horse in the 3:30 from Kettering in 1973. Mr James, would also like to say that he is very happy in this place, but wants you to avoid mirrors on Fridays”
Joan Simms (2001), Hattie Jacques (1980) and Kenneth Connor (1993) are all dead
“All are very keen to be reunited with the rest of the classic cast and provide much need employment for the psychic community”, stated foreteller, Doris Purseemptier,”They are tired of waiting for Jim Dale to join them for a project in the Spirit World. All are having a hoot and want to tell you to grasp an opportunity, relating to a man with money, as soon as you can.”
Jim Dale (84) is still (at time of writing) alive
“Why on earth is this tired fifty year old plus format being revived, when we have hundreds of talented writers in this country? There are thousands of original creators trying to get their ideas into production” Mr Dale, the Ian Lavender of the Carry On series was quoted, “Thank goodness for incredible sites like The News Dump, who give these give these incredible talents an outlet. Oh! And beware of a dog walker in a white hat”