On Wednesday, Jacob Rees-Mogg’s ‘The Victorians’ will be released.
Part sex-tape, part manifesto – in the two-part DVD he’ll show viewers how to make whoopee in the bedroom the Victorian way – with the minimum of fuss, and the minimum of contact.
“if it’s good enough for Kim and Paris, it’s good enough for me” he was overheard telling participants at a local fox hunt.
And the timing couldn’t be better
as we can reveal Jacob Rees-Mogg will use the publicity to officially throw his top hat in the ring for leader of the Conservatives party.
‘I only ever take my jacket off in the bedroom’ he told the Mail on Sunday.
And with that sentence, the entirety of middle England woke up and immediately went weak at the knees as they read the Sunday papers in bed. A middle class baby boom has now been predicted for January 2020.
Of course the Rees-Mogg clan have a lot in common with the Kardashians, so a sex tape would make sense. Both large families of considerable wealth, with the singular target of looking out for themselves.
While nobody is sure what Kim and family are actually good at, the same has been said for the decade in parliament for Rees-Mogg.
The Kardashian’s sell make up, Rees-Mogg dreams of selling cheap penny farthing’s.
The Victorians has been widely panned by critics for it’s “clumsily written pompous schoolboy compositions”
Obviously Jacob doesn’t see where the insult is and took this particular quote as a compliment.