The ultimate limit of human endurance has been found – it’s 3 years of Brexit negotiations

Science and Tech, UK Politics
The ultimate limit of human endurance has been found – it’s 3 years of Brexit negotiations

The ultimate limit of human endurance has been worked out by scientists analysing a 3,000 mile run, the Tour de France and other elite events.

They showed the cap was 2.5 times the body’s resting metabolic rate, 4,000 calories a day for an average person, or just under three years of talking about but failing to achieve a realistic Brexit compromise.

Researchers from Duke University studied endurance runners, long distance cyclists, and the Brexit negotiating team. The found that consistently pushing beyond this endurance rate led to complete exhaustion, as demonstrated by the sheer number of lead Brexit negotiators tapping out early.

‘It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and I was foolish not to anticipate this’ said a junior Civil Servant, placed on medical leave after an intense negotiating session. She reported muscle strain from carrying binders, cramp from taking notes, and dizziness from seeing the arguments go round and round in circles.

‘I also lost my voice, from speaking slowly and loudly so the Europeans could understand’.

Any level of activity higher than the rate the scientists identified was not sustainable in the long term.

‘No shit’ said a bedraggled Theresa May, seen loading up on Lucozade and protein powder before her most recent trip to Brussels.

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