The Supreme Court ruled that Boris Johnson misled the Queen by asking her to suspend Parliament.
It’s not the first time Johnson has committed such an atrocity. The Queen recounted another, more recent occasion,
“Boris Johnson said in this quiet little voice, which is unusual for him, pompous oaf, he said “idiot Queen say what”. Now, one did not hear what he said, so replied “What”. Well! As a result, everyone is out there once again chatting about how he misled me. How humiliating.”
Boris Johnson hasn’t apologised or expressed regret over his actions.
Sources in Parliament say he doesn’t even remember meeting that random old lady with the shiny hat.
The Queen’s neutral role requires she takes the advice of the Government in power.
The Queen is unable to act of her own accord, and it is reported that she is content with that arrangement. She added,
“It’ll be a ceremonial role they said, next thing I know they, parliament, whoever, all meet in this big fancy building in London and talk about me. Say it to my face next time, bring it.”
Former Conservative prime minister Sir John Major commented after the judgement that “no prime minister must ever treat the monarch or Parliament in this way again”.
As he stuck up for the Queen when she wasn’t even there, Sir John Major is expected to be recognised for his statement in the Queen’s Honours, with the title “A solid lad” to be bestowed upon him.
The Palace has stayed silent in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling.
The Queen tweeted last night “Who can blame me for wanting to hide away with a large bottle of Strawberry Lambrini and my monthly subscription to Horse and Hound?”