The News Dump’s European Election Rolling Coverage

UK Politics
European Elections Rolling Coverage

As the country casts their votes to select MEPs who we assume will all be out of a job come November – the UK’s main news outlets are legally obliged to maintain a media blackout – they won’t report any election news until the ballots are closed.

The same rules don’t apply to made-up-news – so we’re here to fill that gap.

Here’s everything you need to know today.

19.23pm

In a shameless attempt to gain the populist vote, Theresa May throws a milkshake over herself.

15.26

The ‘Leader’ of the ‘Opposition’ has now been found – and cautioned for selling Market Garden Produce outside a polling station in North London.

14.01

Police have asked members of the public to be on the lookout for a confused, bearded man loitering near polling stations in Islington. The man believes he is Leader of the Opposition and answers to the name Jeremy. Police have said he poses no danger to the Government.

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12.31pm

Green turnout is thought to be lower than expected as many supporters are reluctant to waste a paper ballot form (on an MEP who won’t actually take up his seat).

12.13pm

Latest pictures of Nigel Farage campaigning for last minute votes:

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12.01pm

Former Brexit Secretary and leadership hopeful, Dominic Raab says until today he was unaware of how important voting is in getting people elected.

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11.31am

Pictures have emerged of Dominic Raab trying to find his way to the polling station.

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10:27am

Pollsters have detected a late swing to the Brexit Party in rural areas, largely based on the massive boost Nigel Farage has given the dairy industry

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10:00am

Boris has been to exercise his prerogative in one of those little booths. He plans to vote later.

09:30am

Jacob Rees-Mogg has been spotted leaving his home for the polling station.

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09:00am

The Brexit Party has revealed it’s made transport arrangements to ensure Nigel Farage gets to his local polling station without being doused in milkshake

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08:30am

An opinion poll taken on Wednesday night suggests the Tories will do even worse in Europe than Eurovision contender Michael Rice

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(Contributors: Garth ApThomas, Trevor RudgeGavin Noble, Simon Paul Miller).
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