The News Dump guide to talking “dog”

UK Politics

According to a recent study, dogs use a series of gestures to communicate with their owners.

Analysing data from 37 dogs, who were filmed by their owners each day, the scientists identified 19 common gestures that were used to communicate the dog’s needs.

Rolling over means ‘scratch me’, a head turn either means ‘open the door’, while flicking a toy can either mean ‘I’m hungry’, or…

…’you sodding play with it then, if you think that old rag is really so much fun’

 

More complicated gestures

Mans best friend is surely capable of communicating a little more than just ‘feed me’. To prove it – we’ve carried out our own in-depth scientific analysis of the pictures that we’ve just photoshopped together in order to make that point.

If a dog looks forlornly ahead, staring into the middle distance…

He’s explaining that you’ve made an absolute dog’s dinner of something. And not the good kind.

If one of your many dogs is giving the others side-eye, while taking a surreptitious dump…

He’s basically begging you to find a way to reduce the size of the pack. He’s feeling a little unloved, and wants some more attention!

And if he jumps up on you like this…

He’s asking you to dance. Your furry friend has his sights set on the Strictly glitter ball trophy – and he wants your help getting all four feet moving in the right direction.

Len Goodman may have quit, but Len “Good Boy” will surely see what he’s got to offer and put your furry friend through?

If not, maybe Darci Ruff-le, or Bruno Boney-o-li?

We haven’t got a pun for Craig Revel Horwood – so chances are he won’t be much use to anyone in this entirely imaginary scenario.

Other celebrity dogs

Ok, so he’s never going to make it onto Strictly – he’s not a celeb. But tell us which celebrity dog you really would like to see compete for that glitterball trophy – and if it’s a slow news day maybe we’ll make your photoshoppable dreams come true.

Bark Zuckerberg?

Bark Wahlberg?

Bark Radcliffe of of BBC Radio 6 Music?

Add yours in the comments below. Bonus points if you can think of a celebrity dog who isn’t called Mark. And no – Bono doesn’t count.

 

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