Imelda Staunton is set to replace Olivia Colman in Netflix’s regal drama ‘The Crown.’ The 63 years old actress will take the role for seasons five and six of the critically acclaimed show.
Other leading roles in the series will remain the same with the exception of the part of Prince Andrew. Originally this part was due to be take over by Hugh Grant but following the recent high profile bad publicity surrounding Prince Andrew’s association with the convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, Grant, despite being under contract, has flatly refused to take the part.
“I know I got caught with my cock in a hooker’s mouth but that was a long time ago when this kind of behaviour was acceptable for good looking privileged posh nobs like me,” said an angry Grant, “But this Prince Andrew’s malarkey is beyond the pale as far as I’m concerned. I’d refuse to shake the fucker’s hand had he not refused to shake mine first.”
Luckily for Netflix the role has been cast and a new contract put in place. Speaking from his jail cell in Thailand, convicted paedophile and all round cunt Gary Glitter expressed his delight at being given the part.
“I think I’ll do a right-royal job,” chirruped the happy dirty bastard and lowlife scumbag Glitter, “I won’t need to do much acting as far as his dicking about is concerned. All I’ll have to do is put on a posh voice, sweat a lot, and occasionally eat in a Pizza Express. It’ll be a piece of piss, and I’m already working on my acceptance speech for the Golden Globe and Emmy ‘best actor’ awards. If one of the other inmates would lend me a pencil I’ll have it scribbled down on a sheet of prison bog paper before they release me.”