As Asda and Sainsbury’s continue to discuss their proposed merger, two more supermarkets are in tie-up talks – M&S and Ocado
And they’re not the only ones. Today Tesco, Waitrose, Aldi and Travelodge announced a new joint venture. The name of their new company? TWATs.
Creating the biggest supermarket group in the UK, a spokesman for the soon-to-be-massive TWATs explained that they’d included the budget hotel chain in the deal in order to give customers somewhere nice to stay while waiting in the checkout queues.
Those queues are set to get longer and longer, as the monopoly the massive TWATs will have will mean an end to expensive, outdated notions like customer service and properly staffed stores.
The new venture will launch in September 2020.
Assuming the contractors working for Travelodge actually get paid.
We asked M&S and Ocado for comment.
‘Those TWATs are just copying us’ a spokesman said. ‘Sounds like a terrible idea’ he continued – while flicking through the phone book desperately trying to find the phone number for the head office of Premiere Inn.