Sir Kim Darroch has resigned as UK ambassador to the US, as a row over leaked emails critical of President Trump’s administration escalates.
Confidence in the Ambassador was further weakened when the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, also backed up President Trump in declaring, “The Earth is indeed, potentially, flat, or dare I say ‘La terre est plate’ “, he ejected in French (as he has a habit of doing).
Mr Johnson had refused to say, during the Tory leadership debate on Tuesday night, whether he would keep Sir Kim in post if he became prime minister.
“Here is a man, who has, quite clearly, stated the Earth is round”, waffled the soon to be Leader of the Tory Party, “When, every sane thinking power crazy politictian (myself included), is coming round to the US position that the Earth is at least a cube; rather like a wine box. A large wine box. A wine box I can paint, with happy countries trading freely with one another, using smiling ships and grinning aeroplanes.”, the MP for Henley chuckled, demonstrating that improvised comedy really is not his Forte
Europe Minister Sir Alan Duncan stated, “He’s [Mr Johnson] has basically thrown this fantastic diplomat under a bus to serve his own personal interests,”
“What another spiffing idea for my next creative arts project”, enthused Boris, everyone’s favourite loveable politician with no substance, “A huge bus made from a box of Californian Zinfandel and an Action Man, wearing a celebrity cardboard mask of Sir Kim. A bus with a happy, smiling Nigel Farage and Ann Widdecombe in it and the destination ‘Washington DC’ written on it’. Buses are great aren’t they? Huzzah for the Omnibus! Or ‘Sonorum Vincit io pro omnibus’ “, he then added, in that annoying way he likes to prove he went to a posh school
The US president had branded him “a very stupid guy” after emails emerged where the ambassador had called his administration “clumsy and inept”.
“He left out disastrous, chaotic, unpredictable, random, untrustworthy, uncaring, divisive, isolationist and xenophobic”, added the President, “Clearly the former UK Ambassador is a man who cannot get his facts 100% right and whoever Mr Johnson chooses to replace him with, we will welcome Mr Farage with open arms”