A group in Boston, US, have applied to the city government for permission to hold a ‘Straight Pride’ parade
And are also understood to have asked their better halves if they can be allowed to attend their own event.
However, the group, who go by the stridently heterosexual sounding name ‘Super Happy Fun America’ have yet to hear back from either the government or their deeply unhappy spouses.
Former Minnesota State Senate candidate, Shawn Olson, suggested that rather than be aggrieved by the lack of straight pride events, heterosexuals should “be grateful you don’t need one”.
However, the organisers are insistent that the event is much needed.
“We’re pretty confident that the government will grant us permission, as an opportunity to raise awareness of our oppressed majority, to hold our parade” organiser Chuck Williams told us, dressed in his finest string vest and MAGA hat.
“It’s the wives where we could run into trouble, though. My missus was muttering about us visiting her mother on that day, so that’s probably me ruled out. I’ve been in the doghouse ever since I told her she looked like a blimp in that new dress.
“And Bob’s wife has only just found out about the affair he’s been having with his secretary, so I doubt he’ll be able to go.”
He added, “The main thing is though that everyone in the city will be learn about the plight of us heterosexuals, and how hard it is to be straight in this day and age.
“Even as a teenager I remember all the boys on the football team talking behind my back about me after I managed to asked out and later have sex with the hottest cheerleader in high school.
“That kind of trauma takes a lot of getting over, you know?”