Sterling performs well in Europe for first time since 2016. Man City Boss Pep Guardiola invited to take over Brexit negotiations.

Sport
Sterling performs well in Europe for first time since 2016. Man City Boss Pep Guardiola invited to take over Brexit negotiations

Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola has been invited to join Theresa May in Brussels to help with Brexit negotiations. The move comes after he engineered strong performance by Sterling and grabbed victory from an almost certain loss.

Guardiola’s decisive leadership and tactical know how helped City defeat German side Shalke in the Champions League last night with a last-minute winner from Raheem Sterling.

It’s the first time Sterling has performed well in Europe since June 2016 and the Schalke players had to admit they hadn’t seen it coming. ‘We’re so used to seeing Theresa May walking around like a drunk velociraptor, leaving behind a trail of destruction.’ Said Nabil Bentaleb.’ This organised and consistent approach just took us by surprise.’

Dave from Bridgend, a lifelong City fan since they started winning trophies, said ‘Guardiola’s the man for the job. He’ll press Barnier and force him into giving something away. And once Vincent Kompany’s fit he’s the answer to the backstop.’

But harbinger of bollocks Jacob Rees-Mogg expressed his concerns. Which is not surprising given that he’s moved so much of personal fortune abroad in anticipation of the pound’s collapse.

‘What we must remember,’ he said in his usual patronising tone, ‘is that this was not a British victory. It relied on goals from foreigners, so it was a victory for allies and for a united Europe. And one knows where that will lead.’

Earlier Rees-Mogg had said that he would rather read horoscopes than Treasury forecasts, as he refused to acknowledge any risk to the UK economy from a no-deal Brexit.

He went on to say that he would happily walk barefoot through the woods where a bear has recently been, and he’s sick of people accusing the Pope of being Catholic.

After talks with EU leaders Teresa May said the two sides had made progress. ‘We have agreed that work to find a solution will continue.’ She said.

Which in layman’s terms mean they had a chat and agreed that they need to chat some more. Which must be seen as progress in anyone’s eyes.

Guardiola has been one of the most successful managers of recent years in England and Europe.

And if anyone can solve the Brexit riddle, it’s the man who turned Fabian Delph into a Premier League winner.

  •   
  • 101
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.