In the wake of scathing remarks directed at Jeremy Corbyn by Britain’s Chief Rabbi in regards to discrimination, Corbyn assured voters anti-semitism had no place in the Labour party.
However, Boris Johnson sought to take advantage of the situation by drinking port and loudly announcing “Some of my best friends are Pickanninys!”
“I’ve always had an affinity with the black chappies.” Johnson added “In fact, once after a conference during my time as Foreign secretary we broke out the shoe polish and covered ourselves in it and…”
“Well, I’ve said too much.”
Although there have been several counter allegations from high profile figures including Noam Chomsky accusing senior Tory party members of having links to Anti-Semites across Europe, Johnson skillfully addressed the situation by ignoring it and focusing instead on making sure none of his clothes were the right size.
Sources at number 10 were quick to back up the Prime minister’s claims “If you look at all the countries the prime minister has offended recently… France, Germany, Australia, Russia… these are all white countries, I mean there’s a few ‘ethnic’ types there, but mostly white.”
The aide explained “He usually only offends his own kind. There’s certainly no instances of him making anti-Semitic jokes.”
“… No recorded instances.”