Sir Kim Darroch has resigned as UK ambassador to the US, as a row over leaked emails critical of President Trump’s administration escalates.
Sir Kim has now become ambassador to Love Island stating that “it will be good to get away from orange skinned, narcissists spouting daft ideas incessantly. I’m sure the inhabitants of Love Island will provide a change of pace”.
Following Sir Kim’s resignation, Boris Johnson said he was “a superb diplomat”.
Through gritted teeth Mr Johnson went on to say what a marvellous opportunity Sir Kim now faced on Love Island. “All those young, lovely things frolicking about in swimming pools, copping off with one another. Bugger being Prime Minister, I want his job!”
The lads of Love Island seemed strangely eager to meet Sir Kim. “Kim hey?” Marvin said with a wink. “I hope she’s proper naughty. What’s that? What do you mean Kim’s a 65 year old bloke?!”
Sir Kim’s resignation has prompted widespread support.
As has his ‘coupling’ with contestant Maura Higgins.
Theresa May said Sir Kim had had the full backing of the cabinet.
”We shall all be rooting for him” she said while watching the programme. “Oh my goodness they just snogged! That’s running-through-fields-of-wheat levels of naughtiness”.
As Love Island is part of Spain the UK citizens who live there may face challenges in the event of a No-Deal Brexit. Sir Kim already has a contingency plan in the event they are no longer able to reside in the EU. “If No-Deal became reality Love Island will relocate to Canvey Island. It’s got sun, sea and sand, and everyone likes Dr Feelgood right?”