Sir David Attenborough says Parliament is ‘basically usesless’

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DWP deems British Parliament 'unfit to work'

Sir David Attenborough has said Parliament is ‘basically useless’.

He told the first Citizens’ Assembly that having a five-year fixed parliament is not good for long term planning to save the planet.

Sir David said he has been to Parliament and ‘observed MPs in their natural environment, surrounded by bullshit and with their heads hidden up their own arses’. He described the primary focus of the species as ‘self-preservation’ and ‘feathering their own nests’.

He told the group it is ‘difficult’ to persuade politicians to put funds towards environmental issues.

Adding, ‘They’re a naturally selfish species that, much like the magpie, is attracted to anything shiny.’

Sir David urged members of the assembly to ‘pressure’ their MPs on environmental issues.

He said it was time for people to stand up for species that might otherwise become extinct ‘like Lib Dem MPs’  but that ‘natural selection is a thing and it’s probably best that UKIP remains nothing but a bunch of fossils’ citing Jurassic Park and the last four years of British politics as evidence of ‘the damage dinosaurs can do to society.’

He went on to describe MPs as having the ‘morals of a vulture, the caring instinct of a black widow and the backbone of an amoeba’ adding that ‘a sloth could have sorted out Brexit quicker.’

He said that his career has shown him that ‘everything in this world has a purpose’ but that MPs have cause him to question that sentiment as they appear ‘completely fucking useless.’

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