Scottish govt suggests covering face in public. With a massive ginger beard.

UK Politics
Scottish govt suggests covering face in public. With a massive ginger beard

Nicola Sturgeon said there may be ‘some benefit’ in having your face covered in places where social distancing is difficult.

And the First Minister recommended a ‘massive ginger beard’ that’s as thick and impenetrable as the enchanted forest that grew up around Sleeping Beauty’s castle.

She said it’s ‘not a substitute’ for existing lockdown restrictions.

But that it might help to ease the chill when wearing a kilt now the weather’s changed.

The guidance is not mandatory.

But like sobriety and turning your nose up at Irn Bru, ignorance will be frowned upon and will ‘call into question just how Scottish you really are.’

The authorities will not be given any extra enforcement powers.

But Ms Sturgeon warned Scots that CCTV will ‘see you Jimmy.’

She stressed that evidence suggests the benefits of face coverings are ‘limited’ in combating Covid-19.

But urged people to consider other benefits such as ‘how much porridge can be stored in the beard for when you get peckish, and how it can used as an excuse for why everything you say is indecipherable to anyone south of the border.’

She went on to say that she doesn’t want people to ‘think they’re invincible’.

And cited William Wallace as an example of how even the toughest Scots are susceptible to ‘outside influences’ such as ‘indiscriminate viruses and English bastards.’

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