Alex Salmond has won his case against the Scottish government after they admitted acting unlawfully whilst investigating sexual harassment claims against him by appointing an investigating officer who had “prior involvement” in the case.
To find out what happened, an investigation will have to be launched and, in line with common practice, the Scottish Government have assigned the same investigating officer to investigate himself, as he is the person who has the most detailed knowledge of the case.
Unfortunately, the investigating officer has been unable to find the investigating officer. ‘I appear to have completely disappeared,’ he said. ‘I thought I saw him whilst I was looking in a shop window, but on entering the premises I could see no sign of him. CCTV evidence has since been obtained which clearly shows I was in fact correct as he can be seen to have been in that shop at around the time I thought I saw him.’
When the investigating officer was asked how he intended to find the investigating officer he replied, “With great difficulty. I will now know that I am onto me and, as such, be making every effort to avoid any mirrors.”
Mr Salmond thanked the 4,000 people who contributed more than £100,000 to a crowdfunding appeal to help pay for his legal challenge to the government’s handling of the case. With the government agreeing to pay his legal costs, he said the money will go to good causes in Scotland and elsewhere.
The Scottish Government have now set up their own crowdfunding appeal, also to help pay for the costs of his legal challenge.