After his private opinions on Trump were publicly leaked, and after Tory Leadership frontrunner BoJo refused to back him, the UK’s ambassador to the United States of America Sir Kim Darroch has resigned.
Sir Kim has since been signed up as the new Ambassador to Love Island – and while the rest of the media are busy picking apart the scandal of the leak itself, we thought it only right we help move the story on, and start helping to find the right replacement for Sir Kim.
Here’s our list of those most likely to become our next ‘Man (or woman) in Washington’.
Literally doesn’t say anything so unlikely to offend anyone.
Likewise – no danger of him expressing an opinion.
Let’s show them how we really offend people.
So him and Trump can reminisce about shit that never happened.
She’s got so many air miles it’ll save the civil service a fortune in travel.
He already spends a lot of time in America, where he has a studio apartment in Donald Trump’s back pocket.
He’s used to getting pointless answers.
Tony Peacemaker Blair.
He’s fixed the Middle East so US/UK relations should be a doddle.
He’s made a lot of documentaries in the US and can help Trump prepare for prison.
He has a great affinity for the American people – his ancestors owned a lot of them.
He already has a strong spiritual relationship with Uncle ‘Sam’. And Auntie Jackie.
This superstar American presenter looks a bit like someone who used to be popular in the UK – so it could definitely work.
Because we’re pretty sure the pair will get on…
Alex from Glasto.
Because why the fuck not?