Report reveals ‘too few’ poor university students. Government plans to make all students poorer in response.

UK Politics
Report reveals 'too few' poor university students. Government plans to make all students poorer in response

A report from the National Education Opportunities Network (Neon) has revealed ‘too few’ poor white university students in the UK.

Education Secretary Damian Hinds has called the situation ‘a travesty’ and said more must be done to increase tuition fees and really forced down the living standards of white students. ‘This is 2019,’ he told reporters, ‘and we’re living in an inclusive society. We can’t simply focus on destroying the lives of the marginalised anymore.’

Chancellor Philip Hammond is expected to use his Spring Statement to increase duty on alcohol. And there have been renewed calls for cannabis to be legalised ‘so the scrounging layabouts can learn the cost of living in the real world.’ Other measures proposed by ministers include charging for STI tests, introduction of a Netflix licence and heavy fines for unauthorised possession of a traffic cone.

According to a survey by the University of Brighton, many students struggling to pay for basics such as food and rent are turning to sex work. ‘Sugar daddying’ where younger women are paid to go on dates with older men is becoming increasingly popular and last year saw hundreds of university students sign up to sugar daddying website SeekingArrangements.

Boris Johnson said he was shocked by the news and asked, ‘How have I never heard of this website?’

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