Renewed calls have been made for Sir Philip Green to be stripped of his knighthood after the retail tycoon allegedly subjected employees to racist, sexist and physical abuse.
Green has been accused of dragging a woman around in a headlock, mocking a male employee’s dreadlocks and smashing an employee’s mobile phone, as well as groping a female executive then paying her £1m hush money.
“This sort of behaviour is disgraceful,” we imagine Stephen Crabb said, himself accused of ‘sexual chatter’ with a potential employee.
“People should be safe in their workplace,” Charlie Elphicke presumably added, himself suspended by the Conservative party after ‘serious allegations.’
“People in power should never abuse their position,” likely quipped Michael Fallon, who resigned after admitting he ‘touched’ a female journalist and made lewd comments to female MPs.
“Sexual predatory behaviour should be outlawed at work,” surely commented Mark Garnier, himself admitting to asking a former assistant to buy him sex toys.
“We’ve had enough of this sort of thing,” almost certainly barked an angry Damian Green, the man caught with porn on his computer in a police raid then lying about it.
“Scandalous that employees should be put through such things,” we expect said Daniel Kawczynski, the man under investigation for pressurising a female underling to go on a date with a rich pal of his.
“He’s a fucking cunt,” probably added Chris Pincher, the MP accused of trying to tap up Olympic rower Alex Story.