European media and politicians have savaged Boris Johnson after his first Commons defeat to opponents of a no-deal Brexit, claiming the prime minister’s tactics had backfired disastrously, his bluster was no longer working, and – after barely six weeks in office – he was already fighting for survival.
However, even in light of this scrutiny, John Timms a former remain supporter admitted he’d now completely changed his stance on Brexit “When I watched PMQ’s and Jeremy Corbyn was asking why Johnson was shamelessly covering up Brexit’s true impact… At the time I genuinely thought those were important questions.”
“But then, Boris simply called him a big girls blouse.”
“Revelatory.” Timms added “I’d genuinely never thought about it like that.”
Timms admitted he’d been seeing the upside to Brexit for months “There’d already been all sorts of even-handed discourse online; I would correct brexiteer’s economic/immigration misconceptions and mostly their spelling and, in turn, they’d call me a traitor, an enemy of democracy and call for me be hanged.”
Economically, Timms’ concerns had also been put to rest “At least once the pound finally achieves parity with the dollar there’s nowhere to go but up, obviously that’s once the forecast recession is out of the way… shouldn’t be more than a few years with the Lichtenstein and Faroe island trade deals we’ve got lined up.”
While Timms did state he was initially a little concerned with heavily reduced car production and the large number of factories closing as a knock on effect of Brexit, the looming upside was undeniable “Manufacturing and business confidence should recover as it’s extremely unlikely our Prime Minister will announce ‘fuck business’ again.”
“I mean, he definitely won’t? Right? A dignified statesman like that?”