Rees-Mogg spends evening screaming at carolers for not singing in latin.

UK Politics, Xmas

Jacob Rees-Mogg has kept his job in the Conservative cabinet, despite his controversial remarks the past few months.

Rees-Mogg was in no mood to celebrate however, and has instead spent his evenings lashing out at various carolers around London.

As he was walking from Westminster, he passed a large group of carolers in the street raising money for charity. After hearing that the group were singing in English, Mr Rees-Mogg flew into a rage, kicking over their collection bucket and flailing his arms like an enraged ape.
The Conservative member than screamed “O Come all ye faithful? It’s Adeste Fideles!!!” at the group, repeating the title over and over until they fled.
Rees-Mogg then gave chase, screaming the lyrics at the group for a few streets before running out breath and making his way back home.

He later became aware of a primary school Christmas show taking part at a nearby church, and made his way inside, where he was confronted with a bunch of 6 year olds singing ‘O Holy Night’.
Rees-Mogg ran down the pews and yelled the song in latin, before rushing to the front of the stage and screaming in the faces of several children.
Their teacher explained that they did not know any latin songs, but could sing ‘Calypso Carol’.
Rees-Mogg became outraged at the thought of a song written ‘After 1899’ and stormed out the church.

He then returned home, and remained indoors, only leaving to to wave a dueling pistol at a family singing ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ on his driveway.

  •   
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.