Recently discovered 4000 year old corpse declared ‘fit to work’ by DWP.

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Recently discovered 3000 year old corpse declared 'fit to work' by DWP

A Bronze Age monument dating back to about 2000 BC has been discovered in the Forest of Dean.

Archaeologists discovered a circular ritual ring consisting of a circular bank with limestone standing stones.

Buried under the earth was also the remains of a 3000 year old corpse which, after an initial assessment and examination, has now been passed onto the DWP who have declared it ‘fit to work’.

Is is believed that the corpse was a prestigious member of his community, perhaps a high elder or a warrior, as befitting his decorated burial ground.

The DWP have declared the body a ‘NEET sponging off the taxpayer’ and that ‘skills acquired under the ideals and culture of early Beaker culture are no longer relevant in today’s society, as late neolithic culture prioritized construction of chambered tombs, and flint based axes over more practical skills, such as Excel and Salesforce.’

Dating back to about 2,000 BC the circular ritual ring was found during a LiDAR laser scan of the area.

The Archaeologists also used remote controlled drones to survey the site and the surrounding areas from above, but gave up after discovering the vegetation was far too dense, and they were picking up ‘far too many dogging sites’.

Archaeologists first believed the site could be a World War Two gun emplacement due to its ‘extremely circular’ nature.

They dropped this hypothesis after noting that, unlike other former WW2 sites, the area was not frequented by Britain First members as some sort of racist mecca for ‘British pride’.

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